Enny, meenie, miney, Moe, (NOT FOR THE SQUEEMISH)
Well you know how the rest of the poem goes.
Okay so do to the fact of wearing pumps for so many years while
I was young and stupid; now I am old and stupid
My poor Feetsies suffered much.
After toe surgery (trying not to get to descriptive here)10 years ago
I thought I was home free. No more ingrown toenails and no more pain.
All was good
Until a month ago while (now this is ironic)
I was pulling out my winter shoe bin and pushing over my summer shoe bin.
The winter shoe bin hit My big toe nail and pulled it completely up. &^%&%&%&%^&%&!!!!!
(Sorry I prolly should have put a warning label on this post) In fact I will do that now.
Okay so I am like leaving for work in 5 minutes. (Naturally)
I wrap the toe up in paper towel and grab a pair of sandals that have a wide opening. And off to work I go.
Thank heavens I work in a machine shop so many many tools are at my hands. I asked the tool crib guy for a pair of wire cutters, some of those band aids over there and two Tylenols.
After performing minor surgery on my left foot. (Hey that’s a movie right) I took two Tylenols and tried to work.
Well there was this little piece of toe nail still stuck to my toe!
So I did what every normal person would do Call the Doctor?????????????
Nope, I tried to use pliers to pull it the rest of the way off.
Not having the correct tools, the operating table or the anesthesia, I couldn’t get the job done.
Long story shorter, I somehow got in to see a podiatrist the same day. He is kinda balding, with a goatee mustache, not bad looking but pretty young. He says he likes my tattoos.
I am like “Cool do you have any??????????
“Na,” He replies studying my toe.
“Do you trust me?” He asks.
“No!” I laugh “I just met you.” “Maybe if you had a few tattoos, I would.”
“I think it’s just barely caught here at the edge.” He continues.
“Let me just give it a quick pull and we will be done.”
I look at him and of course I say
Ha you thought I was going to say “NO WAY MAN!”
Well I should have, cause it hurt like a ^&&^%!!!!!!
I could have one of my shop guys put my leg in a vise and do the same thing.
(For a lot less $$$$ too)
Anyhow he numbed it up, took it off and made sure it was not going to
Bother me ever again.
Moral of the story here is IF YOUR DOCTOR DOES NOT HAVE ANY TATTOOS
HE MUST AT LEAST HAVE A GOATEE.